Friday, February 12, 2010

Thoughts

Late last night, my good friend called and asked if I had seen the news. They were reporting that the man who invented the frisbee had passed away. She knew that this news would have impact on me and just wanted to know if I was okay. That man, was the man who, with alcohol in his system, ran a stop sign and hit and killed my sister.
For years, I have been bitter because I felt that he had never fully paid for what he did. I was bitter that he never apologized for what he did. I was bitter that the whole world knew that he had invented the frisbee, but they would never get the chance to know Valerie.
This morning, I was watching ESPN and they covered his death. Again, bitterness consumed me and has taken over my day a bit. But, something happened this afternoon that has left me with a softened heart. I laid down and took a nap with Micah and Abby. As they were sleeping, I looked at them and thought how sad I was that they never knew their aunt. And how mad I still was that I don't have a sister here. And then another thought creeped into my mind and heart. It was time to forgive. I'm sure he didn't mean to kill anyone that day. I'm sure he was just like any other person who has gotten careless at times. I'm sure that he is sorry and I'm sure he had feelings about this that I never knew about. For me to carry this bitterness inside for all these years was wrong. I need to forgive and now I think I can.

7 comments:

the coltons said...

i heard this this morning, too and immediately thought about you guys. i love what you said - about just being careless and how we are all prone to it. of course there are huge consequences sometimes and none at other times. thanks carrie - what a great insight!

Amanda said...

Isn't it incredible how all of a sudden one day, you realize that you can forgive something that has been hurting you for years! I am so grateful for that!

Lauren's blog said...

This was such a sweet post, Carrie.

Worle said...

You are amazing! I am so sorry! That is such a horrible thing to have happen! Have you read the miracle of forgiveness? It talks about being able to forgive. On page 291 there is a story about a man who forgives the man who shot and killed his father. That man is Glen Kempton and he is my grandpa. I hope you are doing well!

Danielle Christiansen said...

that is a hard situation. forgiveness is never easy when it hurts so much. You are remarkable.

Heidi Howarth said...

You are an amazing person I'm not so sure I could forgive the same! Thanks for being such an inspration to me!

Nathan said...

Somehow, I missed that he was the one driving the car. I'm sorry that the news brought everything to the surface again.

I'm glad you had that epiphany, though.